Two weeks

Two weeks since I posted... really nothing new. LOTS of ups and downs over the last two weeks, good days and bad... with no real rhyme or reason that anyone has been able to figure out. I'm doing a sticker chart with my daughter for good days at school... i.e. no leaving the classroom without permission, good listening during circle time, etc. I know she's been struggling at times with impulse-control and a couple of times with (kind of extreme) emotional reactions to having her feelings hurt and/or disappointment. Her BSC (behavioral specialist consultant) has visited her classroom twice, and both times was very pleased overall with how she performed. I believe she has offered some thoughts and suggestions to her teachers, as has her Occupational Therapist. I am contacting the Intermediate Unit to see what she may qualify for in school as far as OT, etc. is concerned. Her BSC feels that the classroom itself can be pretty overstimulating for her, and this is a very different classroom than she has been used to over the last two years. For one, the class size is bigger... she has never been with more than 10 children total, with a 5:1 ratio. This year there are 14 students at a 7:1 ratio, and from what I've seen, there are some very active kiddos in there, (not just mine!) so the teachers really do have their hands full. I will say that the lead teacher is SUCH a dear... so, so sweet, and the assistant teacher is nothing short of FABULOUS, especially with my daughter. You know how some people just have a gift with certain kids? Well, she's one of them. She has this way of calming her when she's upset... taking her out into the hallway and helping her with deep breathing and thinking of the things that make our hearts happy. :) The classroom itself, however... I'm just not sure about. It doesn't seem QUITE as structured as I've seen in previous years, and that's just the style of the teacher. I'm not sure how well my daughter "fits" with that. But I keep telling myself that over the years, there are going to be LOTS of different kinds of teachers, some that she will fit well with, and some that she won't. In fairness, I haven't observed a class, I'm just going by what I see initially and what the teacher tells me about how things run- i.e. the kids are kind of free to come and go to the restroom (across the hall... another difference, as restrooms were inside classrooms in the other 2 classes) and get a drink from the fountain, etc. Between ADHD and SPD, with lots of distractions between the classroom and the restroom- i.e. there are musical instruments stored in a room next to the restroom...or at least there were last week when her BSC was there... well... my daughter LOVES music, and if she sees those sitting there... um, what do you THINK she's going to do??? LOL. You have to know my kid. And I think that bothers the teachers, but seriously... I'm sure it takes EVERYTHING she has to restrain herself from playing with the instruments, from not touching things in the hallway, etc. Snacks are within plain sight/reach, and one thing I've learned about my daughter- if you don't want her to touch something, it had better be out of sight/reach!! So yes... my daughter is tough to manage, but I do feel there could be simple changes in the classroom that MIGHT help. Only so much you can do, though. I've been on the other side of this as a teacher, and it's TOUGH and it's frustrating. And I LIVE with my daughter... so I KNOW how hard it can be with her, so I'm CERTAINLY not placing blame on ANYONE... it just is what it is, you know? We LOVE this school, and it has been such a big part of our lives the last 2 years, that I wouldn't dream of leaving unless it were really necessary. It's hard to hear from a teacher, though, that often times it's as if she almost needs "one on one." That forms a picture in my mind of her needing special ed. services and an aide in public school next year. Which is fine... but... do you know what I mean? I know there could be worse things... you just worry so much about EVERYTHING as a parent. You think about the social stigma and how are the kids going to treat my babe if she's "different." All I want is for her to be mainstreamed and be able to function like the other kids... be able to maintain good friendships, listen to her teachers at school, and succeed. Maybe that's alot to ask and hope for, but that's what I want. I hope and pray we get there.

We've been struggling a bit at home, too. A lot of defiance, some physical aggression when she's angry, and definitely verbal aggression. I think the hardest thing for us is how she is with her little brother... she is just SO in-his-face and touching him all the time... most often it's not malicious or intentional, but because she's so rough and so "on top of him," accidents happen. The other day she was hugging on him and they fell over, and apparently his head just missed the concrete outside. So we get scared that he's going to get hurt... her, too.

If you are a prayerful person, I think the prayers we could use most right now are for us as parents. Pray for my husband and I to be the kind of parents our daughter needs. Pray for patience, understanding, and guidance on how to best take care of her and to help her become the best little girl she can be! :)

DAN doctor follow-up is now scheduled for Nov. 8. My kiddos did not have school yesterday, and I would not have been able to focus on a 1-hour phone call with the doctor. This is important stuff, and the next appt. I could get in person or over the phone is Nov. 8... so again, we wait... but that's ok. Slowly but surely, we'll figure this out.